Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Week 8 GMS

Good day family and friends,

A word that would aptly define this past week would be joy. God has blessed me immensely by filling me with his joy. This comes as a result from a few things.
The first being that I had an awesome talk with my team leader where we were able to talk out some issues that had come up between us over team weekend (the trip to Boston). The usual culprit pride was at the head of our conflict. Once it was discussed I was over joyed to be able to rejoice with him once more as my brother in Christ.
The second that God has been ever so gently showing me my weaknesses over the past week. Showing me that I can't do everything and that I don't have to. That he has everything under control and that "[his] power is made perfect in [my] weakness." Which has been a sweet answer to prayer. I have been longing to have a portion of my pride taken from me and he has done it by exposing my weaknesses. Though I am still utterly and completely prideful I am thankful for what God has done so far.
Two examples of how he has gently exposed my weaknesses to me.
- That I will never be fully prepared to lead a bible study in the fall. I need him to compensate for these weaknesses. He is eager to do so.
- Sharing my faith with my coworkers scares me to death. It is only through his strength that it can be done effectively.

God has also given me a completely different view of my faith. My view of faith changed from it being irrational, which is how the world sees it to having it be a logical though process, which I am all about.

The program is coming to a close. I am excited to go home but bummed to leave all of my new friends at the same time.

Prayer Requests
- Once again that my mind would stay here for the remainder of the program.
- That once I leave I would be able to effectively reflect on what God has taught me this summer and have legitimate change brought upon my person.
- Team unity. As we near the end we seem to be drifting apart.


Thanks
Jon

Thursday, July 17, 2008

GMS week 7

Good day Family and Friends,

We shall begin with recent events and then move into what God has been doing in my life.

First Dave is GONE! Ah the humanity! His side of the room lies barren and I am left alone. I am not actually that emotionally effected, but I am definitely bummed out. Just as we were starting to grow closer is was ripped away from me by the air force and sent to turkey. I praise God for the time that we did have together though and am encouraged by what I have seen God do in his life over the summer.

What has God been doing this week? Hmmm...
It seems as though every week God brings to the fore front something different every time. This weeks focus was brought upon truly finding my identity in Christ, truly loving the world, non-christians whom I interact with, and my Christian friends as well.

Identity in Christ - Not a works based salvation
Over the past week God has been speaking a lot of truth into my life regarding this subject. In fact the focus for this week's study was "Identity in Christ" which was and has been so clutch when looking back at the state I was in over the weekend. I was able to get some time with our speaker this week and he was also able to tell me a lot of truth. He mostly talked and advised us on listening prayer(1).
Lie from Satan - God will only provide me with salvation and look well upon me if I act strictly according to his law. That I can never rest, that if I am resting I am using my time unwisely and not for the Lord.
1st Truth from God - Regarding a works based salvation.
Galatians 4:1-2 "What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. 2He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father." If you want to understand more you should probably read this verse in context. For me this verse opened my eyes of my heart to the fact that it was God set the time for me to receive the full rights of being his adopted son. Before this I had the same rights as a slave. God brought me out of slavery and accepted me as his adopted son, I did nothing, could do nothing. My role was to be a slave and in such a role I could make no decision contrary to what I was instructed to do, my instructor was the sinful nature (Ephesians 2:1-3).
2nd Truth from God - Regarding rest.
Hebrews 4:9 "There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;" I am able to rest at times but others I feel like I should be doing something, this is definitely still a work in progress.

In both of these truths I have not even come close to fully grasping them and living them out in my life. I am continually being molded and shaped by God. That being said I have gained a greater heart knowledge of both of them over the past week.

Loving the World and fellow Christians well -
God has been bring to my attention that I continue to love those around me poorly, especially those of the world. I am uncertain how I can directly influence whom I love and to what extent that love will be poured out. My only thoughts have been to look to Christ and his character and to pray continually for a greater love of those around me. One reason I desire a greater love for non-Christians is to portray Christ in me to them, hopefully giving them a desire for Christ as well. A reason for why I desire to form a greater love for my fellow believers in Christ is because of John 13:34,35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
By showing my love to this coworker I am loving as Christ loved and therefore revealing Christ's character to those who do not believe.

The end is near and I am sure that it will come much quicker than expected. This week as already blazed by. I am excited to return home but I will be saddened when I leave all of these people whom I have developed a strong connection with and deep love for.

Prayer
- Satan continues to attack my mind with worries about money. Pray that I will be able to give this up to God and trust him with it.
- That my mind will stay here in Vermont, while I am here, and not dwell on things to come in Arizona.
- A loving spirit
- I have not been sleeping well. There is a lot of unrest while I am trying to go to bed. Pray that God would expose the reason and begin working upon it.
- Pray for the hearts and minds of the non-Christians I work with, that a great vacuum would be created within that would give them a desire to know the one true God.
- Pray for my one Christian co-worker. She is feeling worn down after 2 years of working just with non-Christians. She feels as though she is always losing. Pray that she would be encouraged.

Thanks
- Jon


(1) Listening Prayer - The act of praying to God and then to sitting in silence, regardless of how awkward it may be, and wait for him to respond to you. (Has been very beneficial every time I have done it.)

Saturday, July 12, 2008

GMS week 6

Hey Guys,

God has placed me in an interesting predicament, but once that is necessary for me to continue on in my sanctification process. God has shown me that I do not fully believe that Ephesians 2:8-9 is true.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

Being raised in the church that I was raised in, the ICC, I have developed a highly works based salvation. I was in this church up until the age of 13.

Brief synopsis on the ICC (International Churches of Christ) - A cultic "church" organization where there was no grace and all of your salvation was based upon how much you did, how many people you evangelized to, how much money you tithed, etc. There is obviously more to be said but I believe this description will suffice. Dad, if I have misspoken please alert me to my error.

It is only lately that I have been shown that I have been really living in this fashion. I have been shown that I have never, at least consciously, required God's grace to be laid upon me. I have always been able to sufficiently avoid sin. I have taught myself all the correct biblical things to do. Pray, give glory to God, encourage and love others, the list of Gods commands goes on. But the truth is this:

Isaiah 64:6
All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

These righteous acts mean nothing, they are actually less than that. The words "filthy rags" actually translate for rags used for womens mensuration cycles. My apologies for the graphicness, but it is in that imagine that I believe I am able to gain a glimpse of how God views my actions.

I am therefore in a strange positions because in everything I DO I earn my own salvation, the way I read the bible, the way I socialize, even the way I pray. So I can DO nothing in order to change my view of my "good works." Not saying that the things that I do are bad in and of them selves but the backing for these actions is flawed. God must do this for me. He must change my heart.

Overview of the week:
Currently in Boston, don't think I could ever live inside of a big city. Just watched the redsocks dominated the orioles at fenway park. This was unfortunate for my roommate because the orioles are his favorite team. The past weeks thoughts have mostly been consumed by the contents of this email, besides that nothing to exciting except I worked everyday last week. I hope I will have a day off this week so I can get some good time with God. my roommate takes off for Turkey on Thursday. This is a big bummer to have him gone for the last 2 weeks of the program.

Prayer:
- God to be doing business upon my heart and change it in the way he needs to.
- I will be filled with God's joy despite what is going on in my life. (That Philippians 4:4 will be true)
- To find another male confidant for the last two weeks because of my room mates absence.
- That this will not be a mountain top experience.
- I would be able to love others despite my rather internal mood.
- I would be able to share the gospel with my co-worker before I leave.


Thanks
Jon

PS My apologies for length and possible negative attitude with in this email. I am currently in the thick of what I foresee to be a large change in the way I do business, but this time is hard.


Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Week 5 (woof its already halfway done)

Good day guys,

God has been doing so much business over the past 5 weeks. Some of it has been made known to me while a large majority of it has been done underneath the surface. I am in a state and praise and thankfulness to God. He has increased my view of him and his power immensely.

My time at TJMAXX has been good and bad, but most times it has left me with an immense joy because of what God has done in my life. I am all alone in a back room by myself for about 7 hours whenever I work there. These times have led to excellent stretches of thinking and verse memorization. I listen to a sweet sermon by John Piper a couple of weeks ago titles “The Danger of Drifting from the Word.” It in he talks about God giving us a simple command from Hebrews 2 to just simply “listen or look” to Jesus. It has been awesome to live this out and see how many other things in my life have fallen into place as a result. The simplicity of it all continues to blow my mind.

During these times my thoughts have started drifting towards the up and coming semester. I am really excited about it. It is going to be really hard but really good. I am excited to finally honor God with my studies. In the past I have viewed them as “unspiritual” or as something that doesn’t have any worth in “God’s country.” FALSE! This is one of the biggest areas in my life to worship God.

I am also really excited to lead a bible study with my really good friend Andy. The ideas are racing on what can be done to benefit these freshman men in their spiritual walk with God. Prayers concerning this would be that the bible study would be unified and that during this first year they would develop a deep love for the word. That the focus would not be on Andy and myself but that we would be able to get out of the way and that their focus would only be on God.

Update concerning the girl I work with: She did not come to the barbeque unfortunately but I am still hopeful for further interactions at work. I have yet so speak to her again but I work tomorrow morning so hopefully she will be working.

I have yet to have a solid talk with the guy on my team. I am also unsure where the spirit is leading on that who situation. Prayer for wisdom on whether I should initiate at all. I already have many relationships to invest in while I am here. Does God desire me to invest in this one as well?

Prayer

- God would continue to provide opportunities to portray Christ to my coworkers, and by his grace and to my joy share the gospel with them.

- For continued team unity.

- For the girl at my work and my coworkers in general.

- Safe travels this weekend. ( I am going to visit some Aunt and Uncles this weekend in New York whom I havn’t seen for 2 years)

Thanks for praying guys, Glory and Honor be to God.

Jon